Let’s get real for a second: being a “good person” is bullshit. All that crap about being selfless, putting others first, avoiding conflict, and suppressing your anger? It’s all a giant fucking lie. I spent years convincing myself that swallowing my feelings, keeping the peace, and being “nice” to everyone made me a good person. But you know what it actually made me? A coward. A spineless, anxious mess who was too scared to rock the boat and too weak to stand up for myself.
And guess what? You’ve been lying about being a good person too. We need to stop pretending we’re these saintly, selfless beings just because we’re “nice” or because we avoid conflict, keep quiet, and make everyone else comfortable. That’s not being a good person—that’s being afraid. Afraid of people’s judgment, of making waves, of someone looking at us and thinking, “Wow, they’re kind of an asshole.” So, we swallow our pride, bite our tongues, and tell ourselves it makes us “good.” It doesn’t.
In fact, pretending to be this “good person” is killing your dignity. Every time you hold back what you really want to say, every time you bite your tongue to keep the peace, you’re chipping away at your own self-respect. You think you’re doing it for other people, but really? You’re scared. Scared of rejection. Scared of someone else’s anger. Scared of not being liked.
That’s not being a good person—that’s being afraid.
Here’s the truth: Being “liked” isn’t the same as being good. In fact, it’s the opposite. When you spend all your energy trying to be liked, you stop being real. You stop standing up for yourself. You stop respecting yourself. And without self-respect, how can you respect anyone else?
You think being “nice” makes you a good person? It doesn’t. It makes you weak. It makes you unhappy. You’re not a good person because you avoid confrontation—you’re just hiding. You’re hiding from your feelings, your anger, your truth. You’re hiding from yourself. And you think that makes you noble? It doesn’t. It makes you miserable.
This world doesn’t reward you for being nice. You won’t get a gold star for putting everyone else’s feelings above your own. You won’t get a round of applause for swallowing your anger, bending over backward to keep the peace, or sacrificing your dignity to make someone else comfortable. In fact, all you’ll get in return for that “niceness” is misery.
We’ve been fed this bullshit lie that if we’re “nice,” we’ll be seen as good people, we’ll be respected, we’ll be loved. But the truth is: being nice doesn’t earn you respect—it gets you walked all over. You think putting other people’s feelings first is going to get you somewhere? All it gets you is a life filled with disappointment, frustration, and a complete lack of dignity.
Here’s the reality: You’re not a good person because you put others first. You’re not a good person because you care about every single person you encounter. You don’t care about everyone—and that’s okay. You care about yourself and the people you love, and pretending otherwise is burning you out. You’re drowning in your own fear, hiding behind this facade of being “good,” when what you really need to do is be real.
You’re so consumed with being “good” that you don’t have the energy to truly care about the ones who matter.
This world rewards strength. It rewards confidence. It rewards people who have the guts to put themselves first. You won’t get respect by being a doormat, by biting your tongue, or by sacrificing your own needs. And if you keep sacrificing your self-respect, you’ll end up living a life of internal suffering.
And the worst part? You’re not actually helping anyone. You can’t even give a fuck about the people closest to you because you’re too wrapped up in managing everyone else’s perception of you. That’s not selflessness—it’s selfishness at its worst. You’re so consumed with being “good” that you don’t have the energy to truly care about the ones who matter.
You want to be happy? Stop trying to be nice. Stop trying to be liked. Start being selfish. Start putting yourself first. Start saying what you need to say, doing what you need to do, and living for yourself. Because in the end, your happiness doesn’t come from pleasing others—it comes from respecting yourself enough to live without apology.
No more lies. No more pretending that avoiding confrontation makes you a saint. Be selfish. Be bold. Put yourself first. And then, maybe, you’ll actually have something real to offer the world.